Wednesday, June 04, 2008
4th june 08
when all i wanted was to chill, and have fun chatting with shaiful. the bar got slammed with plenty of orders but this time, it's bar orders. i've got cust standing by the bar ordering their drinks none stop and tt gave my work some thrill... it's like finally. i enjoyed working seriously though it was a little tiring but time seemed to passed so fast. by the time i take a look for time. it was already 2:30. finished work at 3am, went home bathed and changed. preparing to slp but somehow , i couldn't slp at all. seriously it sux, it seems like i had slept for hours but in fact it was onli an hour plus since i dozed off, for some unexplained factors, i couldn't sleep at all, i woke up feeling sad. a feeling tt hadn't came by for a very long long time. decided to have a walk and breather take a slow walk down to the coffeeshop. thought of having something light and chill.
who who was it that i met. a very old time neighbour uncle, dated back a whole solid tough 12 yrs back when my parents divorced and had the flat sold. we were so happy to see each other after a year plus(since mum's wake ) . he left shortly after.
wildly thoughts started invading my mind NONE STOP . how i wish i could live back tt memory when i was a child going to neighbours hse to play enjoy n have some undeniable fun ?? how i wish i could have stop my parents from divorce. how i wish i could do something so that mum wouldn't pass away ? i wish mum alot, my siblings ALOT. where there are ppl who have a complete family yet they do not appreciate . both parents alive yet they think life's tough for them n they gave up, siblings to be ard them most of the time, yet whinning away to outsiders abt how bad they were, why do ppl who have everything whine and whine, when there are ppl yearning for it.
i carn find words to express how much i really want it to happen. i would only say i gladly give my life up for my family to stay as a whole. how i wish to have tt FAMILY once more. it is so devastating . i dunno to cry or to laugh.
right now i feel as though my heart have been so shattered, as though a piece of glass fell from a point so high, it broke into pieces so fine tt can be hardly seen , n being rampange upon by a hugh stampede . it sucks. it's so hard sometime to stop my tears from flowing, but i told myself i have to be strong =)
but i do thank GOD for everything, he must have put us thru all this hardship so as to be stronger . i THANK HIM =) ( BLESSING IN DISGUISE )... if never for all this, would i have been wad i'm if those tt i had asked for were granted to me ? I DOUBT SO...
i miss baby alot , i'm so afraid she would leave me someday , she's so nice, so sweet , loving , caring etc etc (if i could i would say she score a 10 apoint 10). but no one's perfect but nvm she's near to perfect , a 9.5/10.
i'm not richer compare to her previous
i'm not sweeter compare to her previous
i'm not kinder compare to her previous
i'm not as free compare to her previous
i'm not as lovely compare to her previous
BUT....
for sure
I LOVE HER MORE THAN HER PREVIOUS
when all i wanted was to chill, and have fun chatting with shaiful. the bar got slammed with plenty of orders but this time, it's bar orders. i've got cust standing by the bar ordering their drinks none stop and tt gave my work some thrill... it's like finally. i enjoyed working seriously though it was a little tiring but time seemed to passed so fast. by the time i take a look for time. it was already 2:30. finished work at 3am, went home bathed and changed. preparing to slp but somehow , i couldn't slp at all. seriously it sux, it seems like i had slept for hours but in fact it was onli an hour plus since i dozed off, for some unexplained factors, i couldn't sleep at all, i woke up feeling sad. a feeling tt hadn't came by for a very long long time. decided to have a walk and breather take a slow walk down to the coffeeshop. thought of having something light and chill.
who who was it that i met. a very old time neighbour uncle, dated back a whole solid tough 12 yrs back when my parents divorced and had the flat sold. we were so happy to see each other after a year plus(since mum's wake ) . he left shortly after.
wildly thoughts started invading my mind NONE STOP . how i wish i could live back tt memory when i was a child going to neighbours hse to play enjoy n have some undeniable fun ?? how i wish i could have stop my parents from divorce. how i wish i could do something so that mum wouldn't pass away ? i wish mum alot, my siblings ALOT. where there are ppl who have a complete family yet they do not appreciate . both parents alive yet they think life's tough for them n they gave up, siblings to be ard them most of the time, yet whinning away to outsiders abt how bad they were, why do ppl who have everything whine and whine, when there are ppl yearning for it.
i carn find words to express how much i really want it to happen. i would only say i gladly give my life up for my family to stay as a whole. how i wish to have tt FAMILY once more. it is so devastating . i dunno to cry or to laugh.
right now i feel as though my heart have been so shattered, as though a piece of glass fell from a point so high, it broke into pieces so fine tt can be hardly seen , n being rampange upon by a hugh stampede . it sucks. it's so hard sometime to stop my tears from flowing, but i told myself i have to be strong =)
but i do thank GOD for everything, he must have put us thru all this hardship so as to be stronger . i THANK HIM =) ( BLESSING IN DISGUISE )... if never for all this, would i have been wad i'm if those tt i had asked for were granted to me ? I DOUBT SO...
i miss baby alot , i'm so afraid she would leave me someday , she's so nice, so sweet , loving , caring etc etc (if i could i would say she score a 10 apoint 10). but no one's perfect but nvm she's near to perfect , a 9.5/10.
i'm not richer compare to her previous
i'm not sweeter compare to her previous
i'm not kinder compare to her previous
i'm not as free compare to her previous
i'm not as lovely compare to her previous
BUT....
for sure
I LOVE HER MORE THAN HER PREVIOUS
friendsforever;
7:15 AM
7:15 AM
Sunday, June 01, 2008
31ST MAY 2008
kinda tiring but also sad. yet another barman leaving the BAR and a new guy coming in.
should i be staying at ARENA or hop to CHINA ONE if the chance comes upon me should i or should i not ? really in a dilema...
damn it i hate this feeling
i wanna get reach soon and retire fiancially in some yearz to come but am i able to ? it's kinda hard . AM I RIGHT ? i believe i can do it, here's the chance, i need confidence tt's wad i need.
Work was kinda busy todae, kinda fun, enjoying. but the long hectic que never seems to stop seriously. i kept thinking of BABY :(
was wondering if she had enough sleep ? whether am i neglecting her ? i feel so bad, tt i left her alone most of the time yet i felt very uneasy whenever she mentioned she's going clubbing.
i trust her a hell lot. but i just simply dun trust the guys, u noe when they start drinking and see a girl dance they would definately wanna grind the girl. BABY's hot i have to admit, she has got the X factor. but tt's not the reason y i fell in love with her so deeply . it's just her character, soft, kind hearted careful loving... but forever tt emotionless face. BUT I STILL DO LOVE U LOTS MY DEAR :)
19th june's coming i carn help feeling uneasy. no confidence at all, i keep training flaring back with those bruised arms and legs(when accidents happen)
i wanna go to tt BAR perform in it, and let everyone out there know tt ARENA has finally got tt MAN who makes chilling by the BAR wonderful.
if only i could stop time just for a little while to spend time with baby. i really let her down =(
BABY I LOVE YOU.
p.s baby u mean so much to me even if i have to slp a little lesser i would just to see u. i love it when u smile. thanks baby!
kinda tiring but also sad. yet another barman leaving the BAR and a new guy coming in.
should i be staying at ARENA or hop to CHINA ONE if the chance comes upon me should i or should i not ? really in a dilema...
damn it i hate this feeling
i wanna get reach soon and retire fiancially in some yearz to come but am i able to ? it's kinda hard . AM I RIGHT ? i believe i can do it, here's the chance, i need confidence tt's wad i need.
Work was kinda busy todae, kinda fun, enjoying. but the long hectic que never seems to stop seriously. i kept thinking of BABY :(
was wondering if she had enough sleep ? whether am i neglecting her ? i feel so bad, tt i left her alone most of the time yet i felt very uneasy whenever she mentioned she's going clubbing.
i trust her a hell lot. but i just simply dun trust the guys, u noe when they start drinking and see a girl dance they would definately wanna grind the girl. BABY's hot i have to admit, she has got the X factor. but tt's not the reason y i fell in love with her so deeply . it's just her character, soft, kind hearted careful loving... but forever tt emotionless face. BUT I STILL DO LOVE U LOTS MY DEAR :)
19th june's coming i carn help feeling uneasy. no confidence at all, i keep training flaring back with those bruised arms and legs(when accidents happen)
i wanna go to tt BAR perform in it, and let everyone out there know tt ARENA has finally got tt MAN who makes chilling by the BAR wonderful.
if only i could stop time just for a little while to spend time with baby. i really let her down =(
BABY I LOVE YOU.
p.s baby u mean so much to me even if i have to slp a little lesser i would just to see u. i love it when u smile. thanks baby!
friendsforever;
6:43 AM
6:43 AM