Thursday, November 29, 2007
FUCK YOU GOD!!! KILL ME NOW
friendsforever;
3:22 AM
3:22 AM
GOD kill me please
i wanna die
GOD destroy my soul pls
and let me die
GOD i'm not gonna suicide
but kill me pls some how or another
i wanna die
i wanna die
GOD destroy my soul pls
and let me die
GOD i'm not gonna suicide
but kill me pls some how or another
i wanna die
friendsforever;
3:03 AM
3:03 AM
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
what did i do ?
i didn't call and act pitiful
i dun act
all i wanted to know if she ate anything the whole day
but haiz
fuck
forget it
i didn't call and act pitiful
i dun act
all i wanted to know if she ate anything the whole day
but haiz
fuck
forget it
friendsforever;
9:09 PM
9:09 PM
woke up in a world of blurness
so tired yet carn slp
the whole world seems so different
i guess she made a great impact on me
i love her alot
i really do
sometimes i wonder how does lying leads
to flirting, i seriously dun understand .
went flaring ytd,trained with boyan, shamil, aza and kenny
i guess i perfect my 1 tin 1 btl routine
trying to upgrade to 2 tin 1 btl but its kinda tough
i kept thinking of her the whole night
with heavy hearts and mind
do u think i still got the mood t0 flare ?
i need the music , so tt i feel better
somebody kill me!
i dun wish to feel this sadness anymore
i'm being offered a part time job at mos, should i accept it ?
so tired yet carn slp
the whole world seems so different
i guess she made a great impact on me
i love her alot
i really do
sometimes i wonder how does lying leads
to flirting, i seriously dun understand .
went flaring ytd,trained with boyan, shamil, aza and kenny
i guess i perfect my 1 tin 1 btl routine
trying to upgrade to 2 tin 1 btl but its kinda tough
i kept thinking of her the whole night
with heavy hearts and mind
do u think i still got the mood t0 flare ?
i need the music , so tt i feel better
somebody kill me!
i dun wish to feel this sadness anymore
i'm being offered a part time job at mos, should i accept it ?
friendsforever;
12:37 PM
12:37 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
27/11/07 8.53pm
still in lab trying to rush out the fucking cb report
damn tiring. whole day haven been good at all, surprisingly i'm so hungry yet no apettite
i think i'm screwing every thing up again
lies lies and lies
everything about me is lies
i always wanted to cover things up , u know
those little little stuff so tt ppl i love , i care for and i'm with will not be upset over such little things
and yet it got worst
lies is wad i have
but lying doesn't mean flirting, cheating or being a player
i'm not this kinda person
and will not be...
y ? ppl who have known me since young knows that i'm not like this
girl i do seriously love u alot
even though i dun really tear now but tt doesn't mean i'm not sad or down
i feel damn ... damn... fuck... forgotten abt tt word
it's not tt i'm acting innocent it's just me
everyone knows that when i love a girl i really do love her
suck!
i simply suck!
i lied to a point that she have this thinking tt i'm cheating behind her back
i dun go ard asking ppl for sex neither do i go around flirting
i know how to flirt it's just that it's not me
it doesn't worth anything
all i wanna do is to place effort in th9ings that i wanted them to be
i put effort into her so that there would be only us
efforts into studies so i could become someone better
i'm really lost right now
someone!
i really mean someone!!! pls come and guide me through all this shit
teach me
enlighten me how to be myself back den
the boy who knows of no temper
knows of no lies
wouldn't do any funny things
but then who can be here by my side ??
darling i really do love u alot ... really
i'm not lying
i guess i wun be slping tonite
meeting boyan for flair practise
and i hope some fine day i will be a respected flairer
and to work in clubs just to flair
like events...
des.matt
p.s janice pls come back
still in lab trying to rush out the fucking cb report
damn tiring. whole day haven been good at all, surprisingly i'm so hungry yet no apettite
i think i'm screwing every thing up again
lies lies and lies
everything about me is lies
i always wanted to cover things up , u know
those little little stuff so tt ppl i love , i care for and i'm with will not be upset over such little things
and yet it got worst
lies is wad i have
but lying doesn't mean flirting, cheating or being a player
i'm not this kinda person
and will not be...
y ? ppl who have known me since young knows that i'm not like this
girl i do seriously love u alot
even though i dun really tear now but tt doesn't mean i'm not sad or down
i feel damn ... damn... fuck... forgotten abt tt word
it's not tt i'm acting innocent it's just me
everyone knows that when i love a girl i really do love her
suck!
i simply suck!
i lied to a point that she have this thinking tt i'm cheating behind her back
i dun go ard asking ppl for sex neither do i go around flirting
i know how to flirt it's just that it's not me
it doesn't worth anything
all i wanna do is to place effort in th9ings that i wanted them to be
i put effort into her so that there would be only us
efforts into studies so i could become someone better
i'm really lost right now
someone!
i really mean someone!!! pls come and guide me through all this shit
teach me
enlighten me how to be myself back den
the boy who knows of no temper
knows of no lies
wouldn't do any funny things
but then who can be here by my side ??
darling i really do love u alot ... really
i'm not lying
i guess i wun be slping tonite
meeting boyan for flair practise
and i hope some fine day i will be a respected flairer
and to work in clubs just to flair
like events...
des.matt
p.s janice pls come back
friendsforever;
8:53 PM
8:53 PM
Thursday, November 08, 2007
home swt home
feeling much at ease and peace
to see her smiling so happily
i've never seen tt when i was with her
if only i could have her back
if only i could turn back time
if only she gives me a 2nd chance
if only.... she still loves me
but well, i enjoyed the short 3 hrs outing esp with her
feeling much at ease and peace
to see her smiling so happily
i've never seen tt when i was with her
if only i could have her back
if only i could turn back time
if only she gives me a 2nd chance
if only.... she still loves me
but well, i enjoyed the short 3 hrs outing esp with her
friendsforever;
6:30 AM
6:30 AM
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
project is gonna be done soon
just the wiring part now
dunno y sudden urge of blooging ...y ?
it seems i have no one to turn to
suddenly i have the urge to cry again
i think i have let myself down very badly
very very badly
i feel so useless
i dun have that fighting spirit anymore
i wasn't like this is the past to give up hope so easily
i was the one who told ppl "hey, come on how can you determine the result without even trying ? try and if you can't i'm here for you no worries with a smiley face"
i was the one always with high hopes, bright future, distinction was all in my mind end up it's the other way round.
life is just like a very steep slope for me
i climb up that fucking slope for damn irritating and tiring 19 yrs
i just being misunderstood by every single one
and i mean every single one including the people i love most and that includes her
with that i fell right onto the ground with a
fuck! life sux
i wanna cry but who can i cry to ?!?
no one's by my side what worry me most would be my sister
i wanna be strong enough to take care of her
but it seems i'm just a useless fucker
mummy i really miss u alot
i cant believe i cried damn it !
i love u too daddy
i love u too mei n kor
i love u jan
:(
just the wiring part now
dunno y sudden urge of blooging ...y ?
it seems i have no one to turn to
suddenly i have the urge to cry again
i think i have let myself down very badly
very very badly
i feel so useless
i dun have that fighting spirit anymore
i wasn't like this is the past to give up hope so easily
i was the one who told ppl "hey, come on how can you determine the result without even trying ? try and if you can't i'm here for you no worries with a smiley face"
i was the one always with high hopes, bright future, distinction was all in my mind end up it's the other way round.
life is just like a very steep slope for me
i climb up that fucking slope for damn irritating and tiring 19 yrs
i just being misunderstood by every single one
and i mean every single one including the people i love most and that includes her
with that i fell right onto the ground with a
fuck! life sux
i wanna cry but who can i cry to ?!?
no one's by my side what worry me most would be my sister
i wanna be strong enough to take care of her
but it seems i'm just a useless fucker
mummy i really miss u alot
i cant believe i cried damn it !
i love u too daddy
i love u too mei n kor
i love u jan
:(
friendsforever;
5:12 PM
5:12 PM
wed morning suck ...the days oncoming i have got a feeling it suck to the core man... fuck!!!!
u know the feeling that's so low when u lie down to slp,
instead u found out at the end that u're still awake thinking of all the things that had happened in the past
the happiness and disappointments
quarrels and arguements , of cos the sadnes part of it would be missing the happy times of hugs chats laughter and heart to heart love
and of cos too!!! the regrets of doing things you shouldn't have done
someone come and kill me !
not slping for 36 hrs helps a little , too tired to think of anything , but of course this time if i get to get back with her, i sincerely will change for the better
really i promise
doing some fuck up project now that never seems to finished, and instead of cutting the damn bloody wires i cut my own fingers
dad's still ignoring me, and this time i will prove to him that jan is the best girl of my life
the girl who loves me as much as i'm towards her
i hope things will work out fine
lately i kept thinking of mum which i kept to myself, asking mum alot of things,
damn fuck i shan't type anymore
MOOD: FUCKED UP
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Go EASY on my conscience'
Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been TAUGHT
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my TEARS
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this PAIN
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a BETTER MAN
Once you've found that SWEETHEART
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around
Send 'someone' to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all
I can....
To be a BETTER MAN...
TO BE A BETTER MAN
u know the feeling that's so low when u lie down to slp,
instead u found out at the end that u're still awake thinking of all the things that had happened in the past
the happiness and disappointments
quarrels and arguements , of cos the sadnes part of it would be missing the happy times of hugs chats laughter and heart to heart love
and of cos too!!! the regrets of doing things you shouldn't have done
someone come and kill me !
not slping for 36 hrs helps a little , too tired to think of anything , but of course this time if i get to get back with her, i sincerely will change for the better
really i promise
doing some fuck up project now that never seems to finished, and instead of cutting the damn bloody wires i cut my own fingers
dad's still ignoring me, and this time i will prove to him that jan is the best girl of my life
the girl who loves me as much as i'm towards her
i hope things will work out fine
lately i kept thinking of mum which i kept to myself, asking mum alot of things,
damn fuck i shan't type anymore
MOOD: FUCKED UP
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Go EASY on my conscience'
Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been TAUGHT
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my TEARS
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this PAIN
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a BETTER MAN
Once you've found that SWEETHEART
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around
Send 'someone' to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all
I can....
To be a BETTER MAN...
TO BE A BETTER MAN
friendsforever;
12:57 PM
12:57 PM
life really suck now
i'm totally lost right now except when i'm in school
i'm able to concentrate tt's just nice :)
the feeling
of lost is so strong that i carn with stand it
i have to control my temper and quit smoking if i want her back
it's so fustrating :(
b i love u
i'm totally lost right now except when i'm in school
i'm able to concentrate tt's just nice :)
the feeling
of lost is so strong that i carn with stand it
i have to control my temper and quit smoking if i want her back
it's so fustrating :(
b i love u
friendsforever;
6:43 AM
6:43 AM
Monday, November 05, 2007
the whole world came crashing on me
jan broke up with me yet again
ok this time i admit i'm fuking useless, nothing seems to be going right
everything suck
seriously suck
this time break up really did tore me down to pieces
what to do
the word sworn brothers??? bull shit!
sms all of them all never fuking replied at all
cal them not even one returned the fuking call
i'm fucking pissed ... pissed to the core
i dun think the word sworn brothers sould be used
i guess friends would be a better word
the world suck
jan broke up with me yet again
ok this time i admit i'm fuking useless, nothing seems to be going right
everything suck
seriously suck
this time break up really did tore me down to pieces
what to do
the word sworn brothers??? bull shit!
sms all of them all never fuking replied at all
cal them not even one returned the fuking call
i'm fucking pissed ... pissed to the core
i dun think the word sworn brothers sould be used
i guess friends would be a better word
the world suck
friendsforever;
11:57 PM
11:57 PM