Friday, July 31, 2009
sometime since i last bought ... lately things haven been going on for me
i do realised my temper.... i've not being able to change it as much as i can ..
but all i know i am trying hard to change my temper.... seems as if it's starting to build up back again
i'm finding the best solution to divert it away
.... hmmm... when i said "i guess i still miss her ..." it means that i do miss her after all and not 'i think ' ...
damn sianz ...
my fuking leg is gone ... my both knee hurts so much that i could hardly bend it...
my ankle hurts so much :( that i ain't able to walk stand run or sleep ....
i hope it recover soon, i dun wanna anything to happen to me
but ... i'm not gonna give up
despite the pain i 'll bandage my ankle and knee tightly so that i can perform in next week's section field camp, i'll GO THRU IT! if i miss it .... i'm dead ... ppl!!! i so wanna recover soon
i still miss her alot and love , it's still affecting me so much ... so much so i can't concentrate
i didn't concentrate enough , what happen ?
i let my emotions rule over me , i finally understand that it will destroy me
it's starting to ...
my mind have been wondering about for the psat 2 weeks, so much so i haven been paying attention to classes and lectures and practices ...
i didn't get the chance to fire off the claymore mine once a life time :( :( :( tsk ...
haiz ... i'm FUCK UP
when there were only 6 to fire off the metador i was one of the top 6 ... 3 desmonds and others
this time ... 2 desmond ... excluding me :(
haiz... sigh ... so so sad ...
my life , screwed by my own hands!!!!
when she mentioned to me ... that she realised she had been missing out so much in life .
and ya true girl, i was able to say i can have any girl anytime .
tt was me last time . but i hope u know and understand that because i love u so much i didn't wanna upset or let u down.
I KEEP OUT OF CONTACTS FROM ALL OF THEM! I DELETED THEIR CONTACTS, I REFUSED ALL MEETINGS AND IGNORED ALL CALLS AND MSGES ...
i guess it's too late to say anything or it's useless already
because she found someone better than me and nicer to her
my TEMPER destroy this relationship ... suck right i'm fuck
i hope she's happy now ...
and i also realised i failed to understand the need to explain everything to her ... it's too late
too late to apologise ...
it's too late
DES.MATT'S A GONER ..... =)
i do realised my temper.... i've not being able to change it as much as i can ..
but all i know i am trying hard to change my temper.... seems as if it's starting to build up back again
i'm finding the best solution to divert it away
.... hmmm... when i said "i guess i still miss her ..." it means that i do miss her after all and not 'i think ' ...
damn sianz ...
my fuking leg is gone ... my both knee hurts so much that i could hardly bend it...
my ankle hurts so much :( that i ain't able to walk stand run or sleep ....
i hope it recover soon, i dun wanna anything to happen to me
but ... i'm not gonna give up
despite the pain i 'll bandage my ankle and knee tightly so that i can perform in next week's section field camp, i'll GO THRU IT! if i miss it .... i'm dead ... ppl!!! i so wanna recover soon
i still miss her alot and love , it's still affecting me so much ... so much so i can't concentrate
i didn't concentrate enough , what happen ?
i let my emotions rule over me , i finally understand that it will destroy me
it's starting to ...
my mind have been wondering about for the psat 2 weeks, so much so i haven been paying attention to classes and lectures and practices ...
i didn't get the chance to fire off the claymore mine once a life time :( :( :( tsk ...
haiz ... i'm FUCK UP
when there were only 6 to fire off the metador i was one of the top 6 ... 3 desmonds and others
this time ... 2 desmond ... excluding me :(
haiz... sigh ... so so sad ...
my life , screwed by my own hands!!!!
when she mentioned to me ... that she realised she had been missing out so much in life .
and ya true girl, i was able to say i can have any girl anytime .
tt was me last time . but i hope u know and understand that because i love u so much i didn't wanna upset or let u down.
I KEEP OUT OF CONTACTS FROM ALL OF THEM! I DELETED THEIR CONTACTS, I REFUSED ALL MEETINGS AND IGNORED ALL CALLS AND MSGES ...
i guess it's too late to say anything or it's useless already
because she found someone better than me and nicer to her
my TEMPER destroy this relationship ... suck right i'm fuck
i hope she's happy now ...
and i also realised i failed to understand the need to explain everything to her ... it's too late
too late to apologise ...
it's too late
DES.MATT'S A GONER ..... =)
friendsforever;
8:31 PM
8:31 PM
Thursday, July 23, 2009
u made me like a fool all this while
i was a fool to come back and beg u to come back to me
i changed
i remained cool and silent
i controlled my temper
i placed aside ego and pride
allowing u to treat me like fuck
some nobody fuck
I GIVE UP
i'm out of your life
yes it's hard i know it's hard for me
but with u treating me like fuck
it's far worst
i'm off
go be with your fucking ccb thai useless crybaby fuck!
i was a fool to come back and beg u to come back to me
i changed
i remained cool and silent
i controlled my temper
i placed aside ego and pride
allowing u to treat me like fuck
some nobody fuck
I GIVE UP
i'm out of your life
yes it's hard i know it's hard for me
but with u treating me like fuck
it's far worst
i'm off
go be with your fucking ccb thai useless crybaby fuck!
friendsforever;
5:15 PM
5:15 PM
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
it has been a long time since i last update this blog , it has been manys months since i last update , too many problems in such a short time ...
time again and again, i can't seem to take things into my own hands now
it's too much for me to handle, simply too much
I 'M FREAKING OUT !
i miss bartending , it's has got nothing to do with except bartending
mixing of drinks , doing waterfall, flairing
somehow i just feel like giving up now, life seems so meaningless, i have many plans
many dreams and many goals
it seemed so possible and realistic... right now? pointless and it can't be done that easy
she left me
she's out of my life
i need her
i love her
i miss her
she's in my heart
all the time
this time
i really tried....
life's so pointless
so meaningless
she was what i worked towards too
now she's ain't by my side
i'm falling
deeper and deeper everyday
every single day
she refused
and she ain't interested
she ain't coming back anymore
back to my side
to be my goals
my dreams
my HAPPINESS .....
i just feel like giving up, i've no one to turn to
what shall i do ?
i'm FUCKED
time again and again, i can't seem to take things into my own hands now
it's too much for me to handle, simply too much
I 'M FREAKING OUT !
i miss bartending , it's has got nothing to do with except bartending
mixing of drinks , doing waterfall, flairing
somehow i just feel like giving up now, life seems so meaningless, i have many plans
many dreams and many goals
it seemed so possible and realistic... right now? pointless and it can't be done that easy
she left me
she's out of my life
i need her
i love her
i miss her
she's in my heart
all the time
this time
i really tried....
life's so pointless
so meaningless
she was what i worked towards too
now she's ain't by my side
i'm falling
deeper and deeper everyday
every single day
she refused
and she ain't interested
she ain't coming back anymore
back to my side
to be my goals
my dreams
my HAPPINESS .....
i just feel like giving up, i've no one to turn to
what shall i do ?
i'm FUCKED
friendsforever;
6:57 PM
6:57 PM