25th november...
fuck up day
i dunno why but it seems just tt

i feel so hopeless so useless ...
it's worst than anything , esp when your world just come crashing on you .
esp when u know that you can change certain things but you just simply carn
tt's when the word useless and hopeless comes in ...

i miss my baby girl so much ... so much till the extend i just feel empty
i work and work none stop , to the extend i'm feeling so tired , exhausted , and screwed up. . .
i always wanted to accompany my baby , but i 've got no time for her .
the word going out doesn't seems to have any impact on me .
all i always wanted was just to chill and relax at home

i really wanna go out and spend the time with baby
but it seems no matter how hard i try to control my temper ,
it just seems to have failed
i'll be scolding baby like mad , busting out my temper all at her .
i feel so ... (words just can't describe how i'm feeling)
baby and i were quarrelling yesterday and i admit that it's really a small matter but i made it big ...
baby can't take it anymore and she mentioned break up
i seriously do not know what i should do
i really love her and want her to be with me

but... but i kept thinking when she said she was feeling sad everyday i felt screwed .
i felt so useless and i'm still now ...
in this world which boyfriend whom loves his girlfriend so much would be having his gf sad everyday
tt guy must be an asshole
and SADLY.... I'm TT ASSHOLE ..

i really wanna make her happy , i've tried but it doesn't seem tt way at all ... TSK TSK

i miss my sworn brother ,

no.2 cried so badly because of tt fuck up bitch who treated him like fuck .. i shan't voice out the entire story but she's just fucked up i so wish to give her a peace of my mind. but i know, he wouldn't wanna it to be that way...
i'm useless , i couldn't help him feel better ...

no.3 cried badly , cos when the youngest of us hia di was beaten up badly in front of his eyes , he didn't do anything to stop ... or help... i understand how he feels , at that point of time he was plain shocked and didn't know what to do . and now the distance between us have lengthen .. so much till it's unexplainable ...
he still blame himself till today .

i promised myself that no matter what happen the next time i'll leave work and rush down to help them because it's because of them i hadn't been feeling lonely and able to live life till today .

i cried ... cos i was hopeless i couldn't made no.2 feel better ... i felt useless cos when no.5 got beaten up so badly i was working and unreachable . i 'm the asshole who's unable to make his gf happy ... there's work and family tsk. it have reached my limit i dunno what to do ... ... ... anymore

i lost myself ....................................................


FUCK MY LIFE

friendsforever;
12:51 PM