27/11/07 8.53pm
still in lab trying to rush out the fucking cb report
damn tiring. whole day haven been good at all, surprisingly i'm so hungry yet no apettite

i think i'm screwing every thing up again
lies lies and lies
everything about me is lies
i always wanted to cover things up , u know
those little little stuff so tt ppl i love , i care for and i'm with will not be upset over such little things
and yet it got worst
lies is wad i have
but lying doesn't mean flirting, cheating or being a player
i'm not this kinda person
and will not be...
y ? ppl who have known me since young knows that i'm not like this
girl i do seriously love u alot
even though i dun really tear now but tt doesn't mean i'm not sad or down
i feel damn ... damn... fuck... forgotten abt tt word
it's not tt i'm acting innocent it's just me
everyone knows that when i love a girl i really do love her
suck!
i simply suck!
i lied to a point that she have this thinking tt i'm cheating behind her back
i dun go ard asking ppl for sex neither do i go around flirting
i know how to flirt it's just that it's not me
it doesn't worth anything
all i wanna do is to place effort in th9ings that i wanted them to be
i put effort into her so that there would be only us
efforts into studies so i could become someone better
i'm really lost right now
someone!
i really mean someone!!! pls come and guide me through all this shit
teach me
enlighten me how to be myself back den
the boy who knows of no temper
knows of no lies
wouldn't do any funny things
but then who can be here by my side ??

darling i really do love u alot ... really
i'm not lying
i guess i wun be slping tonite

meeting boyan for flair practise
and i hope some fine day i will be a respected flairer
and to work in clubs just to flair
like events...

des.matt
p.s janice pls come back

friendsforever;
8:53 PM